For my new years resolution, I made a few simple decisions. This year I would focus on my health, making my health a priority, and have patience. As a part of both of those, I am returning to exercise, albeit slowly - one or two yoga classes a week, the "family BJJ" class at the dojo on Saturdays, and walking the dog when I feel able.
I have also been listening to an Audiobook on Radical Acceptance. I am trying, very hard, to approach this new way of life with openness. I spent last year mourning who I had been, and fighting against the change. It did nothing but sink me into depression and wind me up in knots.
For Christmas, my parents bought me a brand new super snazzy sewing machine (which I had on my list.) The last time I used a sewing machine was in my 8th grade Home Ec class, where I managed to kludge together a crooked locker ladder. I decided right then that sewing was totally not for me, and moved on. Recently I decided that it would be helpful to be able to use a sewing machine to do things like fixing stuff or making curtains, so I put a sewing machine on my wish list, and figured I'd get around to it someday. Well, since my parents got it for me (and like a million cool accessories,) I figured I should at least try to use it. So I set it up, test sewed a few lines on some scrap fabric I had, and put it away. I had accomplished using the machine, done. But then, I started poking pinterest, and found a super easy way of making PJ pants for the munchkin. So I spent too much money on fabric (another reason to keep me out of the craft stores) and got to work. I totally made pants.
That entire story was a way of demonstrating the shift I'm trying to make. Sewing is awesome because it allows me to feel productive even on days like today, where doing much is beyond me. I knit for similar reasons, but with sewing the gratification is so much more immediate, and these days I can use all the gratification I can get.
These new limitations might suck, but life doesn't have to.
Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.
